Wild Fiction

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‘We need to create a best seller and we need to ensure that the book is finished.’ James spoke earnestly. ‘That means that we have three objectives: One, make sure the author doesn’t die. Two, make sure he finishes the book. And three, that he writes a best seller.’
‘I thought you said that we need to create a best seller,’ Rebecca said.
James and Conrad looked at each other again.
‘What I’m about to say is conceptually tricky so concentrate,’ Conrad said. ‘The author is always writing the story. Right now, however, we appear to be acting independently without the author’s knowledge. This is because he zones when he writes. We only exist subliminally in his mind, which gives us the autonomy for self-determination and action. When we encounter him again he will only be vaguely aware of what he’s written about. As if he dreamt about it and can’t remember if it’s a dream or something he wrote or something he saw on the telly. As if he was very drunk and remembers only vague snippets of what he created.’
‘Can you repeat that?’ Rebecca asked.
‘No,’ Conrad said. ‘You can read it again when the book is published.’
‘But this appears to be a fundamental concept in the story. If I don’t understand it here will that not affect my actions in the future.’
‘It isn’t necessary for you to understand it. The story line and your emotions will determine your actions. It’s only necessary that the reader understands it at this point.’
‘Well then shouldn’t we repeat it for the sake of the reader if it’s that important.’
‘If the reader didn’t understand it then I’m sure that he or she has picked up our hint by now and gone back and read it again.’
The three fictionals looked up from between the letters of the page and stared at the reader. They hoped that they had not alienated this person and that the reader would not put the book down and forget about them.
They paused and waited for a moment, just in case the reader had returned and re-read that section. They did not want to continue the story without the reader at this point. Rebecca had just realised that the reader was the most important part of the story. It was in his or her mind that she was thinking these thoughts. ‘Never,’ she said to herself. ‘Never challenge the reader to stop reading this book.’ A wicked thought flashed across her mind. What if she did challenge the reader to put down the book and abandon it? The genius in the reverse psychology would ensure that the reader would continue it through to the end. ‘Put it down. Leave it, abandon it. It’s rubbish. The grammar is bad, the idea is pathetic and it’ll never catch on,’ Rebecca was shouting up through the page.
‘What are you doing?’ Conrad said jumping up and putting his hand over her mouth.

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